Everyone does something in their life that they regret, however, it’s important to learn from the experience and grow from it. Sometimes it’s that one experience that you had in your childhood that teaches you a life lesson. Here is a list of twelve things that specifically all men should regret doing.
Telling random women on the street that they are beautiful and attractive is not a good thing. It makes many women uncomfortable. Multiple studies from police departments have shown that catcalling is the first warning sign of a serial rapist and can promote rape culture. Any catcallers should regret their past actions.
2. Not being the stay at home "dad"
When children are involved it is always the woman who has to stay at home and help with the kids and clean the house, while the man is the “breadwinner”. Men should be more supportive of their wives for “bringing home the bacon” and should be willing to put their careers and life goals on hold for their wives. Men should regret each time their wives cook and do the dishes.
Women know exactly what they are talking about. They don’t need men constantly jumping into the conversation and trying to finish your sentences. Some men complain that “it just happens” or “they were too slow”, but the truth is that men just want to take any chance that they can to “prove” they are right.
4. Not letting the girl ask you out
Personally, I have done much personally to fight this narrative. My wife actually was the one to ask me out years ago, instead of the other way around. I noticed that there was interest, but I wanted her to take a more active role in the relationship. Asking the girl out is like asserting dominance, like saying that the relationship can only go forward if you initiate. Men do enough “initiating” in the world. It’s time to let women take the lead.
5. Objectifying women
Women are so much more than just a simple bag of meat for men to ogle at and have relations with. They have so much to add to the world. Of course, sex work is real work, and anyone should be proud of their jobs, but that doesn’t mean that you cannot respect them as people.
6. Not supporting Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer is a hilarious comedian and is well known for fighting the anti-women narrative. Just because she flips the toxic masculinity narrative on its head and frequently makes fun of men doesn’t mean that she isn’t funny. The stark contrast of comedic jokes that expose the toxic masculine narrative is deeply funny to me, and it truly is clear that those that don’t agree just hate women.
7. Promoting toxic masculinity
Who is responsible for the majority of violent crime? Men. Who is responsible for starting basically all of the major world wars? Men. Men continue to push the toxic narrative about violence and hatred. Men who do not recognize this and actively fight against the toxicity are proving that they are part of the problem. Some men may say things like “not all men!” but the truth is, if you care more about defending your reputation rather than inducing change, you should regret it.
8. Voting for Trump
The majority of Trump’s voters have been proven to be men. This man who was proven to be incredibly toxic and hateful towards women, as well as racist and bigoted, was put into power because of men. Men should regret that this monster is our president.
9. Not being emotionally available
Men aren’t as aware of their feelings and are less likely to go and see a therapist for treatment. This often results in them lashing out for reasons that nobody can understand. Men need to be ready to have an emotional connection with their friends too, beyond just “shop talk”. Men need to be willing to cry about their problems rather than just holding it in and bottling it up.
10. Being paid more than women
The gender wage gap is a true injustice. Men should look at their salary and the average pay gap between women and men and demand that their paychecks be adjusted accordingly, and the pay be given to women in the company. Instead, men complain that women just “don’t like the same jobs” instead of actually caring about the gender wage gap.
11. Carelessly promoting rape culture
Men don’t realize what they do when they are telling women that “they shouldn’t have worn that” when they hear of a rape victim, they are victim-shaming instead of being focused on the aggressor. Not imprisoning rapists because they were an athlete or because they had a promising career is ridiculous. What about the victim? What about their life? It takes years to get over a rape, and still it leaves a scar, a memory, that won’t go away. Men should be ashamed that they aren’t flocking to fight rape culture.
12. Not listening to women
Studies show that men don’t want to listen to women. My wife frequently asks even me again and again to do chores around the house, when I am “too busy” working on my articles. I regret that I treat her that way and I want to make sure that I can always be there to listen to her problems. This is an old issue that is still linked to me from being born a male and I am trying to overcome it.
I hope all the men who read this will have learned something about themselves and use this as an experience to move forward from. As always, this is Dr. Howard Wilson, signing off. I hope your day is a good one.